I
enjoyed director Tim Burton's feature film edition of Dark Shadows,
starring Johnny Depp as the iconic Barnabas Collins, originally
portrayed by the equally iconic actor Jonathan Frid in the original ABC classic
1960s gothic soap opera. (Ironically, Frid passed away only weeks before the
new Shadowspremiered.) But I enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons.
It
was said that the original Shadows series was campy. This is not true.
The show-runners simply did not have the extended funds to produce the show the
way they really wanted to produce it, so it was perceived as campy.
But the original production always played it straight,
and took itself seriously. As a result, the audience respected the show's
intentions.
As to the big-screen Shadows, it was kind of like a Carol Burnett Show
satire on the original series, instead of a feature film adaptation. And in the
big picture scheme of things, that is not high praise...on many levels.
First of all, as
wonderful as it was to see Michelle Pfeiffer back in theatres (and looking
beautiful), she was one of too-many-blondes in this production.
Pfeiffer's Elizabeth
Collins character was originally a brunette (as played by Joan Bennett in
the original series, and by Jean Simmons in the 1991 NBC TV remake); but
Pfeiffer was allowed to retain her fair-hair while playing Elizabeth.
Not good; and inconsistent with the Shadows mythology.
And that white make-up of Depp's? I realize he wanted to
present a "realistic vampire," but did he have to look like that
throughout the entire film? Couldn't he just have gone "all-white"
whenever he went on the attack for blood, and retained his "regular"
human form look at all other times?
That was one of the things about Frid's original Barnabas: he was
"every-vampire"...relatable. He was accessible to the viewers, who
could, strangely enough, identify with him...because he made Barnabas human.
Such is not the case with Depp's Barnabas. Depp, under Burton's guidance, made Barnabas a joke.
And
although he script (by Seth Graham-Smith; story by John August) is compelling;
the production design and cinematography is Executive Level A; the casting, pitch-perfect;
and the original mythology is intact (thanks, in part, I'm sure to consultant
Jim Pierson, right-hand man for years to Shadows creator, the late Dan
Curtis), where the heck is the iconic opening theme sequences and music?
And why in heaven's name couldn't they have upgraded the
cameos of original Shadowsactors Frid, Lara Parker (the original witch Angelique;
played in the film by Eva Green), Kathryn Leigh Scott (the original Josette
DuPres/Maggie Evans-Victoria Winters, played in the new film by
Bella Heathcote), and David Selby (seen on the original series as man/zombie Quentin
Collins)? To have these legendary performers down-graded to glorified
"extras" in a party scene is, well, purely insulting to the integrity
of these beloved performers and their millions of fans.
Again,
the big-screen Dark Shadows film is a fine production, but it could have
been great - and it could have easily out-distanced at the box-office the Twilight
franchise (which was inspired by it in the first place) if it just would have
taken a step back and thought more productively about the main objective:
To have a hit film.
Burton/Depp would have met this objective if they would
have just played it straight all the way through, been more respectful of the
original Shadows actors, and had just a little bit more respect for the
material all the way around - while still retaining nods to pop-culture and a
sense of humor throughout the script.
For example: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the TV
series created by Joss Whedon, the new king of Hollywood (due to his
super-performing superhero feature film, The Avengers). Buffy's scripts
were top-notch and the performers were stellar. There were constant references
to pop-culture and subtle winks to the audience, but the actors played it
straight throughout.
Second example: Whedon's The Avengers: The script
is sprinkled with humor, and again, winks to the audience, but the actors play
it straight throughout the entire production.
This is not the case with Burton's Dark Shadows.
Instead, he directs his actors to chew the scenery a little bit too much, and
his pop-culture references (Depp's heart-brokenBarnabas reading Eric
Segal's Love Story) are just a little bit too over the top.
And the ending? I'm gonna spoil it here for those who
don't like spoilers:
Josette turned
into a vampire?!
Too bittersweet.
Barnabas and everyone Angeliquecursed
remains cursed even after her death??!!
Doesn't make sense. No logic within the illogic. No
consistency.
Each and every one of Angelique's curses should have died
with her.
And then Barnabas burns a little bit when the sun touches
him just a tad inside the Collinwood mansion…but he can still walk completely
outside in the broad daylight and not even be tinged?
Again, doesn't make sense.
And would it have been such a terrible thing if Dark
Shadows had a happy ending? Where Barnabas, finally vampire-free from
Angelique's curse, just walked into the sunset with Josette, his dear-beloved
for centuries?
Doesn't anyone, much less Tim Burton, know how to end a
movie anymore?
Didn't he want his movie to be a hit? To have the
audience walk out of the theatre with tears of joy, spreading the word, saying
to everyone they know (Shadow-ites, and Dark novices, alike),
"You HAVE to see this movie!"
Wouldn't that have been great? For Dark Shadows
have been able to become everything that a director like Burton and a star like
Depp are capable of making it become?
Instead, the movie has now become a passing fancy,
ironically, campy, leaving the Dark
Shadows franchise, like Barnabas Collins, to remain dead for another two
hundred years.
